Valdorian Age - Rising Power on the Frontier
Fat Chiki's Ordeal
This is a two person song, 1 male voice, dripping with sarcasm, and 1 female. Singers are costumed thus: the male appears fat and slovenly and very very full of himself. The female should be dressed as a priestess.
O friends, it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
‘Cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man!
O friends, is SO hard to be humble
But I’m doing the best that I can!
All right, all right!
Everybody’s got their pride:
Hidden deep in their pocket or up their sleeve, somewhere out of sight.
Believe what you want, Chiki, but deep inside
The Infernal Princes stand behind you and your soul they own.
I used to have a wife
But I guess she couldn’t compete
With all of these love-starved women
Clamoring at my feet.
Well, I could probably find myself another
But it’s such fun to see them grovelling before me!
Eh, who cares!
I’ll never get lonesome sitting with all my money!
Yes, everyone’s turned The Kneel into your shrine.
They all pay your “taxes”, burdened by your blows.
Fortune and glory, smoke and wine. . .
And then, The Beggar King Kneels, and now everyone knows.
Female: Did you think you could win?
Male: I’m the king, it wasn’t a crime!
Female: Your hearts made of tin, that’s false gold on your skin!
Male: And what is it you expect me to do?
Female: You’ve got to keel down, Chiki, kneel down in the mud.